Children look to their parents for comfort, strength, support, and stability. When parents of children of any age make the decision to get divorced then there becomes the question of what is forever, and what will become wavering. While there are many people who go through divorce these days, there are also many children who suffer from the impacts of divorce on their mind and emotions. One of the most common impacts of divorce on children is the element of the child feeling like it is his or her fault. No matter how many times parents try to explain what is happening and why it is happening, many children tend to take accountability for the divorce internally. The child fears that it is because he or she misbehaved, or because he or she was “bad” at one point or another. This is because of the fact that most often when raising children, parents tend to try to correlate bad behavior with consequences. Therefore, when there are consequences, the child correlates the perceived punishment with bad behavior. Divorce is a confusing and challenging event for everyone involved. When parents get divorced, the child starts to feel unsure about elements of his or her life that he or she had never questioned before. Furthermore, the child will typically begin to act out in violent or negative behaviors in an effort to process the feelings of sadness, anger, and disappointment.
Whatever you do, stop downplaying it. Label it exactly what it is. Sin and direct disobedience against a Holy God as well as sin against your wife and marriage. Instead of having anger toward your wife, you should be offering her all the love and patience you can since you caused this pain. It’s past time to man up and stop victimizing yourself in your “struggle”. Jesus didn’t give the rich man a moment to struggle. He saw his idol and his heart and he told him so. If you’re a Christian, put on your suit of armor and instead of seeing this as struggle, look at it as a battlefield. You wouldn’t go out expecting to die, so get out there and fight and don’t accept anything less than defeat. You don’t have to give way to these sins, you choose to, but at what cost? I wish you the best.